Food Binges Immediately After Losing 70 pounds

When I followed a very strict program (no sugar, flour or friend foods, ooops, I meant "fried" foods) with the 12-Step Program Overeaters Anonymous H.O.W. from April 2016 to December 2016, I got down from 372 (my highest weight ever) to 302.2 pounds. I looked awesome and felt so great.

HOWEVERRRRRRRR, during a Christmas celebration in 2016, I ate some sweet potato pie and drank some wine and MY TASTE BUDS WERE REINTRODUCED TO SUGAR AND FLOUR AND I LOST MY MIND. Along with work stress and before I could catch myself, I went right back to what I normally do after a restrictive diet. I EAT!!! I went running back to all of the foods that I cut out while following OA H.O.W. (Honest. Open. Willing.)

Below are pictures of some, not all, of my junk food binges that I indulged in from January 2017 to May 2017. These food binges are how I gained back up to 345 pounds and show you EXACTLY my eating patterns/binges which caused me to get up to 372 in the first place!! 

I ate two full bags of Tootsie Roll Blow Pops = 22 pops in pretty much ONE DAY.
What is so classic is my Big Book (my Overeaters Anonymous book) on the table in the background!!
(Jesus Take the Wheel!!!)

My favorite spot in my living room (in front of the TV) with some Pad Thai, Twizzlers and an ice cold 25-ounce can of Straw-ber-rita! 

 Multiple bottles of alcohol, fast food Styrofoam containers, chips, sodas, candy and more fast food!! 

Twizzlers, Doritos, Cheetos and a Bottle of wine in the trash. 

A hidden bag of Doritos I forgot about. When I was originally eating the whole bag, some friends dropped over and I hid it in a moving / packing box. When I found it, I finished it off...of course!! 

Orville's Pour Over Butter Large Bag of Popcorn

(In my cabinet, you will see books from 12-Step Programs "Food for Thought" and "Surrendering Hunger". You will also see that purple box of Medifast food. I lost 85 pounds on Medifast back in 2013, but gained 80 pounds back the next year!!)

I ate this entire bag of chips in one sitting

A whole large Pizza, Straw-ber-ritas, Cheetos, Doritos, Popcorn, Pretzel Thins, Reese's and some other stuff I can't quite make out

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WEIGH DOWN VS. MAN MADE DIETS

The difference between Weigh Down and Man-Made Diets is that my heart does not have to change on man-made diets. The food is the only thing that changes, not my heart, not my desires, not my obedience to hunger and fullness.  I have always been in love with the food. I have always worshiped the food instead of God. It was my idol. I could avoid it long enough to lose 70 pounds, but eventually, my heart ran back to the food which is the struggle I have had all of my life.....before Weigh Down. 

10 Pound Re-Gain

So, here I am, BACK UP TO 347.8 pounds!! I gained back 10 of the 11 pounds that I lost being obedient to God's hunger / satisfaction signals. (See Blog Post from Sunday, July 30, 2017)

 UGGGGGH!! So frustrated with myself. 

Residence Life Training Fall 2017 kicked my butt. I fell victim to my greedy stress-eating habits.

I was avoiding my Weigh Down Accountability Partner because I was full of shame.

I knew that I shouldn't have stuffed myself, but I wanted ALL OF THE FOOD I was eating.

I was NOT listening to anything on All Access and the pounds came pouring back.

I just sent this 347.8 picture to my Accountability Partner (with a lot of shame and guilt) and she sent me this picture:

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FAILED TESTS AND FOOD BINGES

 PLACES MY TEAM AND I ATE DURING THE DAY:

Chipotle

Cane's Chicken

Chick-fil-A

Panda Express

Pei Wei Asian Bistro

Wing Stop

Olive Garden

AT NIGHT AT HOME ALONE,  I BINGED ON THESE ITEMS: 

 Margarita Mix with Powdered Sugar
2 Bottles of Tequila 

(I made/consumed 20+ cocktails)

 Doritos 

King Size Reeces Peanut Butter Cups 

Kit Kat King Sized 

Plain M&Ms

Peanut M&Ms

Twizzlers 

Skittles 

Pour Over Butter Popcorn 

1 Large Pizza 

16-count box of Blueberry Poptarts

Central Grill Cheeseburger and Onion Rings

Cheeseburger and Fries and a Margarita
Margaritas at the Movies

25oz cans of Straw-ber-rita and Mango-rita
....and probably more stuff that I can't recall at the moment!

DINNER OUT WITH A FRIEND:

Below I had a Burger and fries and ALL 6 of these mini-margaritas at LSA Burger on the Denton Square:

(In this photo, I was using my forearms to PUSH my boobs in so they wouldn't look SO HUGE in the picture. I was also so uncomfortable and scrunched into the seat)

I see how I gained 10 pounds in 22 days! 
This type of eating puts so much stress on my body!!